Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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