last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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