she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
