i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
