Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
