just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
