I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
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I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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