Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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