Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Two words: blizzard sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
