a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
