There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize