What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
