Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
