Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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