im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
