Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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