He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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