we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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