I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
