We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
