I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
