Banned from zoo.
Again?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
