watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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