we're blogging at a bar
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
