i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
