Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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