Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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