if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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