i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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