Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
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There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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