You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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