YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
