and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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