i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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