I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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