she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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