if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
