So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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