good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
