The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
