She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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