he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
