with your own penis?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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