It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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