and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
