I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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