i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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