So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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