I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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