i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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