is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
People in love make me want to vomit
they need to just BURY HIM!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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