Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
