My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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