I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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