allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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