I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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