dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
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My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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