Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
